By Kevin Klinkhamer
So Rosemary Lumpkin called the police because her underage 15-year-old daughter has been stripping at Playmates in Cocoa, Florida. Naturally the media gets a hold of the story and decides to visit the house for an interview when the cameraman is attacked by the girl's grandma ... with a hoe! Oh, sweet irony!

Editor's Note: We've since uncovered this second report, which shows an alternate camera angle of the incident. If I'm that cameraman, it's at the 0:14 mark that I'm thrilled that the camera was there to protect my melon.

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By Kevin Klinkhamer
So obviously you haven't heard from me in a while. Don't worry, I did not get angry and abandon the league because I just can't seem to catch up to Dodger Blue no matter what move I make. I was out of town for work and extremely busy to boot.

In honor of my extended absence due to work, I thought I would give you all a link so that you could waste some time there. Here are 40 of the Budweiser Real Men of Genius ads. I knew they made a lot of these but I had not heard half of them. Just a warning, you cannot click on just a couple as I thought would happen when I stumbled upon these ... the next thing you know it will be an hour later and you have listened to all of them. Enjoy!

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By Kevin Klinkhamer
Check out this stroke, apparently impersonating a marsupial, chipping his teeth. Diving into a pool the size of a postage stamp and as deep as Megan Fox ... what could go wrong there??? (Language NSFW.)

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How Not to Jump Into a Pool - Watch more Funny Videos

I love how, with a straight face, he seems surprised that he actually hit the floor of a pool that can't be over three feet deep. A couple inches to the left or right and we might have had another Darwin Award winner. However, something tells me this won't be his last submission.

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By Kevin Klinkhamer
This is sweet! You have to sit through two quasi-attempts before the payoff. I am guessing a ton of alcohol helped this guy feel better.

Lake Bike Jump Goes Very Wrong - Watch more Funny Videos

After viewing many videos like this I love how the person operating the camera always laughs the loudest.

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By Kevin Klinkhamer
WORST. NATIONAL. ANTHEM. EVER!

His fellow police officers trying not to laugh too hard is the best part...other than him butchering the song so bad.

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By Kevin Klinkhamer
The Top 10 non-MLB home plate collisions...sweet! They are all entertaining, but here are the best three (with an honorable mention going to the catcher in #1 because she ended up losing two teeth...but did not hang onto the ball).

#8: A sweet collision from a high school game that provoked a bench clearing brawl (which is on the video). If I was the guy who was called out at home and the catcher did that to me he would not be able to play for a very long time (assuming I could get my hands on him during the brawl). The team in purple won the game on a walk-off grand slam. (Editor’s Note: This one’s interesting if only because the guy who edited the video appears to think we can’t follow the action unless he keeps showing clips to us again and again. And what’s with starting the music so deep into the clip?)

High School Baseball - Home plate collision & Bench clearing bra - Watch more Funny Videos

#7: During a promotional race at a minor league game, two Boy Scouts arrive at home plate at the exact same moment for a perfect collision. I love how the PA announcer emphatically states "it's a tie!" as the kids are still writhing around in pain. (Editor’s Note: I quite enjoy the suspense, thinking the pitcher’s going to bean a kid with a warmup toss. And I can’t stop watching the catcher’s classic goalie move where he tries to prevent both kids from shooting past him.)

#2: Current San Francisco Giant Pablo Sandoval calmly catches the ball from the center fielder and gets absolutely ROCKED and still hangs on for the out. Not too shabby but you still aren't going to win the batting title over my boy David Wright this year! (Editor’s Note: Hold me.)

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By Kevin Klinkhamer
"The first improvement to toilet paper as we know it since the 1880's" is the tag line for this product even though toilet paper in roll form did not become common until 1907. That is strike one and then you add in colors, softness, multiple ply paper, etc., and I am definitely taking the under on their claim.

Random thought: Hey, Major League Baseball Hall of Famers...can any of you start dying already! I realize there are plenty more celebrities than you guys but after the past few days (and last couple of MLB regular seasons), you have some catching up to do. I realize the recent rash of celebrity deaths wasn't a shock due to health issues, etc., but many of you are also old...and just keep living! So, live dangerously and go on a bende. Or be like former President Bush I and take up skydiving. Either way, it has been a good run for most of you and the SLPL needs your help in making the first HOF death pool payout in 2009.

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By Kevin Klinkhamer
As many of you know, I have posted links in the past stating my dislike for Philadelphia Phillies' fans ... and the Phillie Phanatic (get a haircut!). Well, here is another recent beauty from Citizens Bank Park. The action starts at the 33 second mark and if you look closely, there is not a Toronto Blue Jays fan in sight. You stay classy Philly fans!

Editor’s Note: Kevin, the link you sent didn’t work. Was this the video you were looking for? (There’s a payoff close to the :33 mark, and the payoff is less than classy, but the Blue Jays reference doesn’t make sense. If this isn’t the right one, resend the link, okay?)

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By Kevin Klinkhamer
Here is a video of a guy who has way too much time on his hands in the gym. However, it is very impressive what he does. And contrary to what you might think, it is just a coincidence I stumbled upon this video as Pedregoso and I aren't going to start an Exercise Ball Video of the Month link.

Crazy Exercise Ball Trick - Watch more Funny Videos
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By Kevin Klinkhamer
As a die-hard Mets fan, this is how I felt last night after hearing the news Jose Reyes had partially torn his hamstring ... except, instead of plain old water, the balloon would be filled with his replacement Alex Cora's urine.

However, I am hanging in there in SLPL so I still have a reason to watch baseball this season.

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By Kevin Klinkhamer
At last, your first baseball link of the year from me. Well, it is half-baseball and half-comedy. Either way, it doesn't get much better than Will Ferrell doing his classic Harry Caray impersonation.
I wonder if SLPL accepts Angel Bucks as currency towards league fees?

Note to SNL fact checkers: You misspelled Harry Caray's name at the beginning.

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By Kevin Klinkhamer
(Author’s Note: I will eventually post an actual baseball link since that is what SLPL is all about. Until then, comedy is comedy and the funniest video/story is going to win out until I find myself in a Pedregoso "I Got Nothin’" slump.)

Based on the way Bango the Buck reacts to being hit where the sun don't shine in the following video, I have to think mascots wear cups. I love the way he stays in Full Mascot Mode and seems to be overjoyed that he helped the ball go through the rim by enthusiastically pointing at Rufus (the Charlotte Bobcats mascot) after the shot. However, comedy gold strikes at the :20 second mark when he falls through the rim ... I still don't know how he managed to fit through it.

Seeing him roll off the court and hobble away should make you laugh even harder knowing the guy in the costume tore his ACL.

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By Kevin Klinkhamer

I would assume they have to carry "all the legal weapons" with the Cincinnati Bengals roaming the streets. Can you imagine what Tank Johnson would do to The Shadow Hare if he confronted him? I will say the guy in the lime green pants does scare the hell out of me. The homeless guy at the 2:08 mark is classic! When did we start dressing up for Easter anyway...did I miss a meeting?

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By Kevin Klinkhamer
SportsPickle.com delivers again.

If the Washington Nationals keep up their stellar play so far this season, the same story will have to be written about them next MLB off-season.

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By Pedregoso Rios
Veteran owners will recall that Kevin Klinkhamer, owner of Dongwhipped, contributed regularly to this blog last season by providing good content and/or links for us to post. The folks at SLPL Blog Central (a.k.a., me) welcomed the regular reprieves from the blog monotony, and fellow owners welcomed the change of pace from our normal mundanity. (Seriously, “mundanity” is a word? I thought I just made it up. But my spell check didn’t flag the word as misspelled, so I looked in the dictionary and there’s “mundanity”: “Lacking interest or excitement; dull.” And, seriously, is anyone else catching the irony of this little mundanity?) To our collective relief, Kevin’s again agreed to provide us with regular contributions. Tune in tomorrow for Kevin’s first contribution for season.

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