By Pedregoso Rios
Once a year, on September 19, I swap my normal keyboard for this Corsair Ergonomic Keyboard for Pirates in celebration of International Talk Like a Pirate Day:

I know it’s not Type Like A Pirate Day, but I really like to immerse myself in these types of holidays. (Missy, I meant to lend this keyboard to you this year, but it’s become such a tradition in my household that I couldn’t give it up. RRRR!!!!)

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By Pedregoso Rios
Because six men carrying a knife, a baseball bat and a billy club aren’t enough to make you think something bad is going to go down.

!
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By Pedregoso Rios
I got demoted again. This time it was Tim McCarver that did me in. In a mean twist of fate, he told my bosses at Fox Sports Television that I had been condescending to him when I suggested he be more condescending on air. Dude can’t handle being condescended to, but that doesn’t stop him from delivering planetary amounts of condescension to his viewing audience during the first two games of the World Series. I wonder if he gets the irony of complaining about me while dialing it up to 11 or if he did it just to get back at me? I’d actually respect the latter.

Speaking of going to 11 ...

Now that they’ve busted me down to Sound Engineer for the World Series, I’ve decided to take baseball sounds to a new level. Literally. I don’t know if you have noticed, but I have placed a microphone into first base. But not just any microphone. This is the type of mic that can pick up the sound of a mouse taking a leak on cotton, a worm farting, or an ant breathing heavy while carrying a feather. You’ve heard from those mics before. But I’m not stopping there. I have also been working with George Lucus' Star Wars audio engineers to amplify and enhance the sound coming from that mic. There’s something specific I’m looking for, something that, when triggered, will create a sound so robust, so loud, and so explosive that people at home can’t help but notice the play on the field. I need the volume levels so ear-curdlelingly loud that it makes metal-rockers take notice. That sound needs to, even if for an instant, drown out the sound of the crowd, the announcers, overhead jets, nearby trains, and most thoughts. Because--and I think you’ll agree with me on this--the importance of a runner's foot touching first base after getting thrown out by five feet cannot be overstated. And that sound just cannot be under-heard.

That’s just the way we roll at Fox Sports Television.

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By Pedregoso Rios
I lost my gig as a director with Fox Sports Television after one game because my bosses were upset that I averaged less than the requisite 32 extreme close-ups per half inning. I tried to convince them that I had brought something fresh to the table by implementing the Machine-Gun-Cut to show all the nervous fans between pitches. (Side note: By the end of the game I had showed literally every fan in the stadium at least once, some as many as three times. Sure, no one fan was on screen for more than a quarter of a second, but still!) My bosses were not impressed.

So they demoted me. I’m now the Pre-Game Consultant to the On-Air Broadcasters. Here are snippets of some of the conversations I had with each before Game 6 of the ALCS Sunday night.

JOE BUCK: I’ve been hearing that people are mad that I’m too partial to the New York Yankees. Should I tone down the fact that I really, really, really want the Yankees to win, Pedregoso?
ME: What?! Are you nuts?! There’s no one in the country that doesn’t want the Yankees to win.
JB: That can’t be true, can it?
Me: You don’t spend a lot of time in the rest of America, do you, Joe? There’s not a town in the United States where at least 96 percent of the population doesn’t just adore the Yankees. You have to continue showing them how much you love the Yankees. Period. You don’t want to turn those people away from our broadcast, do you?
--
TIM MCCARVER: You don’t believe people get turned off when I’m being a vapid, drivel-spewing blowhard, do you Pedregoso?
ME: What?! Are you nuts?! People love to be condescended to.
TM: You’re not just saying that, are you?
ME: You don’t spend a lot of time in the rest of America, do you, Tim? There’s not a person in the United States that doesn’t enjoy it when you present the most elementary of baseball concepts as though you just discovered it. There’s no one that doesn’t appreciate it when you explicate some trivial, obvious point into ground like a 58-foot curve ball. By the way, everyone just loves it when you refer to the 50-something-foot curve ball every single time one is thrown. They love knowing exactly what to expect. They don’t want anything fresh and new and unique. Why do you think Joe Buck, whenever the count starts 0-2 and goes to 3-2, always makes a big deal about how the count just went from 0-2 to 3-2? Why do you think we show replays again and again and again? To show them what they already know to be true. To show them that what they saw the first time in real time with their own eyes is precisely what they already knew they saw. Geez, Timmy, if you talked to them like they had a brain, they would wonder if you even cared about them. You absolutely must continue being a vapid, drivel-spewing blowhard. You don’t want to lose middle America, do you Tim?
--
KEN ROSENTHAL: Is it too obvious that I’m trying to get a PR job with the Yankees, Pedregoso?
ME: What?! Are you nuts?! People want you to get that job with the Yankees. They don’t want you to be a reporter who roams the stands the rest of your life.
KR: Really?
ME: You don’t spend a lot of time in the rest of America, do you, Ken? Even the Angels want you to get that job. They loved it when you said during Game 3 of the ALCS: "It's like aura and mystique have made a comeback. Teams are falling apart at the sight of the Yankees. We saw it in the division series and we're seeing it here in the ALCS. I don't want to get far ahead of ourselves, but if you look ahead to a possible World Series matchup maybe the Phillies, the tough-minded Phillies, are the kind of opponent they need." Never mind that the Angels won that game; to a man, they appreciated the fact that you were so transparently auditioning for the Yankees PR position. It showed guts. It showed wherewithall. It showed, without a doubt, that you are purely American. Keep auditioning, Kenny! You don’t want to turn real Americans away from our broadcast, do you?
--
JOE BUCK: But what if A-Rod isn’t the actual hero of the game?
ME: What?! Are you nuts?! A-Rod is always the hero. It’s all about redemption.
JB: I know, he is no longer a dog during the playoffs, but what if, say, Johnny Damon gets four RBIs and essentially wins the game for the Yankees. Shouldn’t we highlight the fact that Damon was the hero? I mean, I almost felt bad that we touted A-Rod so hard during Game 4, even though Johnny Damon was the actual hero.
ME: Johnny Who? C’mon, Joey, no one in America cares about Johnny Freakin’ Damon. He gets in the way of the real story: Alex Rodriguez, baby! Outside of Andy Pettitte, Derek Jeter and Mariano Rivera, there is simply no other story during these playoffs. Forget Damon. Forget Cano. Forget the rest of the team. If you must mention them, do so only in relation to A-Rod. Like, “Posada, who hits after A-Rod, hit a long home run, just like Alex Rodriguez has already done five times during these playoffs.” If you must mention an Angels player, do so only in relation to A-Rod. Like, “Alex Rodriguez allows Vlad, who’s at bat, to share the field with him when the Angels play the Yankees. Let’s see if Vlad hits the ball to Alex Rodriguez.” You hear me? The only other players you can tout besides A-Rod are Pettitte, Rivera, and Jeter. No one else matters. America only loves those guys. You don’t want to be unpatriotic. do you Joe?
--
Clearly, Joe, Tim and Ken took my advice Sunday night and gave America exactly what it wants.

That’s just the way we roll at Fox Sports Television.

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By Pedregoso Rios
I’ve got a new gig as a director of Fox Sports Television. In fact, I directed last night’s playoff game between the Yankees and Angels. Here’s an excerpt from the transcript of my ninth inning direction:

“...On-Field Camera One, get ready with an extreme close-up of reliever Brian Fuetes’ face so that all you can see is his nose. I can’t really see if that’s a mole inside his nostril or if it’s just a shadow. Ready to take On-Field Camera One. Take On-Field Camera One.

“On-Field Camera Two, we’ll come to you in ten-seconds for a batter-catcher-umpire shot of the pitch, just after we finish exploring Fuentes’ nostril and after we go to 13 random fan shots in under five-seconds. Fan Cameras One through Thirteen, give me some medium shots of random fans. Seven, I need a fan holding a rally monkey. Eleven, I’ll need a Yankees fan. Ready to take Fan Cameras One through Thirteen in machine gun fashion. Take Fan Camera One. Two. Three. Four. Five. Six. Seven on rally monkey. Eight. Nine. Ten. Eleven on Yankees fan. Twelve. Thirteen.

“Ready On-Field Camera Two with a batter-catcher-umpire shot of the pitch. Take On-Field Camera Two. Insert, get ready for an extreme close up of the catcher’s crotch. Take Insert.

“Ready Pitch Track and Replay of last pitch. Take Pitch Track. Take Replay. Show replay eight times.

“Dugout Camera Two, get ready to show Mike Scioscia’s reaction to the pitch. Start with a medium shot of the side of his head. When we go to you, give me a dramatic zoom and stop at edge of Scioscia’s ear and the tip of his nose. Ready to take Dugout Camera Two. Take Dugout Camera Two. Dugout Camera Two, keep zooming, keep zooming. Still too much breathing room. Keep zooming. Dugout Camera Two, stop zooming only when you can’t zoom any more.

“Dugout Camera Two, nice. I like the dramatic zoom. We’ll do it for every pitch for the rest of the inning. Be ready.

“Fan Cameras One through Thirteen, give me some medium shots of different random fans. I need more nervousness this time, people! Seven, I need another rally monkey. Eleven, I need another Yankees fan. Make it a hopeful-but-nervous girl this time. And make sure she looks Bronxy. Ready to take Fan Cameras One through Thirteen. In machine gun fashion, take Fan Camera One. Two. Three. Four. Five. Six. Seven on rally monkey. Eight. Nine. Ten. Eleven on Bronx chick. Twelve. Thirteen.

“On-Field Camera One, get ready to give me another extreme close-up on Brian Fuetes’ nose. Even more extreme than the last shot. Ready to take On-Field Camera One. Take On-Field Camera One ...”

After the game I got chewed out for not giving enough extreme close-ups throughout the game. But I did get compliments for cramming so many random fan shots into five-seconds and for uncovering Fuentes’ nostril mole.

That’s just the way we roll at Fox Sports Television.

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By Pedregoso Rios
Jeren “Skeeter” Livernois, owner of Keep On Shockin’, summed up the feelings of rabid Dodger haters everywhere when he posted up the following photo to Facebook with a caption that read, simply, “So, so sweet!”

“So, so sweet!”
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By Pedregoso Rios
Just think of the unbelievable number of ways this phrase can be put to use...

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By Pedregoso Rios
Lindsay Hicks, daughter Summer Sausages owner Jim Hicks and big sister of Democratic Alliance for the Betterment of Hong Kong owner Ian Hicks, is doing the whole famn damily proud by being bathed in Hoosier red on the Official Athletics Site of Indiana University. Lindsay, a freshman, is a manager for the storied Hoosier Women’s Swimming & Diving Team. Her mom Renea notes that Lindsay would be swimming for their JV team were it not for those pesky conflicting academics requirements (aka, classes). Renea further notes that her and Jim rather intentionally spelled her name with an “a” and not an “e,” which should make Lindsay proud that she’s not in any way associated with the sullied Hoosier Spelling and Grammar Team.

Lindsay Hicks, Hoosier Swimming & Diving
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By Pedregoso Rios
When we were young and stupid, we used to do this at the bullring in Mexicali. Except instead of a soccer ball we used to kick empty beer cans. And we used to get gored. A lot.

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By Pedregoso Rios
Speaking of animals...

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By Pedregoso Rios
It's about cute animals, perhaps, but this dude hates 'em. And don't go thinking this is SFW ... this is definitely NSFW.

You can help your delicate sensibilities and turn the frick away.
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By Pedregoso Rios
Two weeks to go in what has been an awesome SLPL season with a great website, and dude is trying to ruin everything.

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By Pedregoso Rios
Excess Sebum: Where (some of) The Onion's rejected headlines go to die.

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By Pedregoso Rios
Yesterday we speculated as to whether or not an actuary freind of ours who regularly participates in fantasy sports actually knew anything about fantasy sports insurance. We directed him to our blog entry and he offered this bit of wisdom: "Actually this actuary knows all about fantasy league insurances. My best advice is to give it a pass -- if you can't afford to lose all of what you are putting up then find a cheaper league." Since he's from Canada, we decided not to ask him about the public option.

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By Pedregoso Rios
Tip of the ballcap to Dongwhipped owner Kevin Klinkhamer for turning us on to this bit of interestingness. What's particularly interesting for some of us is that some of us, in another life, work with actuaries. In fact, some of us, in another life, work with at least one actuary who participates regularly in fantasy sports. And it ocurrs to us that this actuary may not even be aware that there is such a thing as fantasy sports insurance.

Kevin said he punched in all the details to see what it would cost him to get the insurance and it came out to about $14, which is about 14 percent of his ownership fees. Man, if this gets any more out of hand he's going to have to demand a public option.

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By Pedregoso Rios
This is long but fascinating and worthy.

Derren Brown Trick or Treat Season 2 Episode 6 from Wouterk on Vimeo.

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By Pedregoso Rios
The SLPL blog is going dark until Monday. We’ll update the standings and stats each day, but we’re even unsure of what time we’ll be able to do that. If standings and stats aren’t updated each morning, hit refresh sometime in the afternoon ... we should be able to get to ‘em by then.

Have a great weekend!

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By Pedregoso Rios
We learned in our 7/26 entry that Santa Anna’s owner Anna Pankoke was crowned Cutest Damn Owner In the League. And then we saw this picture, which means we now need to find an even greater title to give her.

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By Pedregoso Rios
Dogwhipped owner Kevin Klinkhamer has become the Rube Furrow of a new fantasy football league starting this year, the Fox Valley Fantasy Football League. It’s an eight-team league that held its draft last night in Geneva, IL. Seven of the teams are owned by current SLPL owners. Kevin’s the commish.

There’s no real news here. I just mention it ‘cause I’m pleased with my draft. Oh, and because the other owners wanted me to broadcast far and wide the fact that Guzzlyn Suds owner Steve McNelley took Kurt Warner as his first pick.

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By Pedregoso Rios
...make me giggle.

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By Pedregoso Rios
My favorite line, and the line that Commissioner Rube Furrow has apparently taken to heart, is: “After each daily raid, other human parallels soon appear. But unlike us, monkeys that are heavy drinkers make better leaders, respected by other monkeys. They seem to tolerate leaders who monkey around.”

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By Pedregoso Rios
...bring me joy.

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By Pedregoso Rios
...make me the happiest.

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By Pedregoso Rios
Squirrel 2, Humans 0.

Wait. I think I recognize that squirrel. I think he’s the little guy that went all ninja on the stuffed doll in our 8/9 entry!

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By Pedregoso Rios
If you’re a regular reader, you know we’re determined not to get all political on you. Sure, we were activists at one time, but following our lobbying efforts to deregulate the use of all pesticides for radicchio farming blew up on us after Commissioner Rube Furrow’s embarrassing testimony in front of the Senate Radicchio Committee, where it was discovered that he had a major stake in several major radicchio pesticide companies, we’ve gone completely apolitical.

But sometimes you just have to step up and make a statement, especially when simple but sweet satire is involved. So, the SLPL is today getting into the political mix again, just this once (unless there’s more simple but sweet satire involved), to bring you this website, Obama Is Literally Hitler. The truths uncovered at this site are amazing. The observations uncanny. The comparisons eerie. For instance, do you who else wrote a book? Hitler! Do you know who else had a dog? Hitler! Do you know who else went to Paris? Hitler!

So, because we believe it’s important to call things what we are, we encourage you to visit the website. And once you’ve had a look at some of the entries, be sure to read the entry titled “Okay, this is getting silly” and marvel at how some people can’t identify satire when it’s slapping them in the face and screaming in their ears.

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By Pedregoso Rios
...you knew the kitten was going down.

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By Pedregoso Rios
...after seeing her rachet up the enthusiasm, you were hoping there would be a big pile of billowy pillows on the floor for her when she took the inevitable fall. ‘Cause you knew she was going to fall.

If she were a Cubs fan, maybe the bleacher bums could time her dance so that she falls out of the bleachers and on to Philadelphia outfielder Shane Victorino just as he’s catching a fly ball. Now that would be applying her skills to something useful.

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By Pedregoso Rios
...you just knew Commissioner Rube Furrow’s dog wouldn’t get the monkey.

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By Pedregoso Rios
...you just knew the kid would end up on his butt, didn’t you?

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By Pedregoso Rios
I wonder if it’s a Hanzo Hattori sword?

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By Pedregoso Rios
...you were rooting for the stuffed animal.

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By Pedregoso Rios
The following photo is cribbed from mark menjivar’s “You Are What You Eat,” which is “is a series of portraits made by examining the interiors of refrigerators in homes across the Untied States.” The following looks a lot like my refrigerator, though I have devoted far more real estate to beer. And I have fewer onions.

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By Pedregoso Rios
Do you think the Booyah Network has enough self-awareness to know The Onion is busting on them about their needless over-production, pointless swooshing noises, and vapid commentary? Nah. Probably not.

Evander Holyfield To Box Horse For Heavyweight Title

BTW, I particularly like the “Steam Room.”

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By Pedregoso Rios
Just ‘cuz.

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By Pedregoso Rios
Sorry, boys and girls, I have a bachelor party--which begins with a round of golf shortly--to attend to this weekend. I can’t concern myself with no gosh durn blog entries. I’ll update the standings and stats, but that’s all you’re getting out of me. And if I so much as suspect that you’re thinking about making my phone ring on Sunday morning as I’m nursing my hangover, I’ll hunt you down in your future dreams.

Type atchya’ Monday morning.

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By Pedregoso Rios
We don’t usually bring you the classics here on this blog, but this here is a different kind of classic:

(This one’s for league friend, Missy, who may not consider us friends after watching this. )

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By Pedregoso Rios
You were conscious when you hit the water, right?

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By Pedregoso Rios
Seriously, this one is beautiful perfection. The web page at which the following photo is posted is titled “Cubs Fan Yet To Figure Out How To Use A Hat.” I can’t help but laugh every time I look at this:

Cubs Fan Yet To Figure Out How To Use A Hat
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By Pedregoso Rios
If you want to know why Pedregoso Rios is feeling spite today, check out the ballplayer holding the 12th position in the following list of current home run leaders:

Russell Branyan. Dude already had more home runs at the All-Star break this season than he did the entire season that Pedregoso drafted him for his Pepino Monos, when Branyan was being touted as the Next Big Thing ... eight years ago.

Get bent, Branyan.

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By Pedregoso Rios
We here are the Official Blog of the Santa Lechuga Power League are taking a three-day break to enjoy the Pitchfork Music Festival in Chicago. We’ll see you on Monday, when we’ll update all transactions (retroactively, if needed) and update the standings and stats.

To tide over our blog fans, we leave you with the following photos (the story follows the pictures). But first, great thanks to Sue Klinkhamer for first giving us this story. Kudos to the Great Saint Lettuce for making the lettuce leaf just so. Appreciation, it goes without saying, to whoever it was that dreamt up the lettuce leaf bikini. Props, certainly, to whoever it was that didn’t just dream it but actually created the lettuce leaf bikini. And, finally, special thanks to the good folks at PETA, who still haven’t learned that putting Playboy models in lettuce-leaf bikinis every year does nothing to reduce our meat consumption but does give us at least one annual blog post.

Photos: Jayde Nicole and Jo Garcia, Playboy

From Roll Call
Heard on the Hill: It’s a Live One
July 16, 2009
By Emily Heil and Elizabeth Brotherton
Roll Call Staff

Veggie Dog Day Afternoon.
The oft-quoted adage that nobody reads Playboy for the articles could probably apply to this HOH item — because we’ll be impressed if anybody interested in the topic looks beyond the accompanying photo.

Playboy Playmate of the Year Jayde Nicole and fellow playmate Jo Garcia came to Capitol Hill on Wednesday, joining People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals staffers, to hand out free veggie hot dogs to hungry Congressional staffers at the Independence Avenue entrance to the Rayburn House Office Building.

It’s an annual tradition for the animal rights group to serve the meat-free dogs to urge people to become vegetarian, and, keeping with tradition, Nicole and Garcia had stripped down to nothing but stiletto heels, a Playboy bunny necklace and bikinis made of strategically placed pieces of lettuce.

Their bikini tops were essentially bras made of lettuce (embellished with tiny rhinestones) while their bottoms consisted of a piece of lettuce covering their front and sheer, nylon fabric trimmed with green lace covering their bums. (Well, maybe “covering” isn’t the right word.)

“They’re wonderful representatives of the fact that going vegetarian is a great way to maintain a sexy, fit body,” PETA spokeswoman Ashley Byrne told HOH.

Vegetarianism: We’re sure that’s what all the googly-eyed, 20-something male staffers on hand were thinking about as they snapped pictures.

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By Pedregoso Rios
Speaking of bananas...

I think this guy way overstates the difficulty of opening a banana the old way, but this is still interesting. And I’m laying good odds that Commissioner Rube Furrow already knew how to do this:

BTW, I’d be more impressed if the dude came up with a quick way to open the hard plastic they use to package small electronics.

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By Pedregoso Rios
Here’s a website that deserves a daily visit. It highlights dumb human ingenuity, crazy gerry-rigging, and Wasillabilly-like dopes clambering to get on the Darwin Awards list. For a sampling, here’s a recent fave entitled “MacGyver Headlight” (though I’m not sure MacGyver himself would have used something so obvious as an actual flashlight to replace a headlight):

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By Pedregoso Rios
Once a year I link to this song ... and am again reminded just how much I love this damn thing:

I wrote a poem on a dog biscuit
And your dog refused to look at it
So I got drunk and looked at the Empire State Building
It was no bigger than a nickel

(You’ll have to forgive Stacy, Rebecca and the crew for getting the artist and the song wrong. I like the loopy Wayne and Garth feel, though.)

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By Pedregoso Rios
Monterey Herald chief photographer and SLPL owner of Cantrell's House Vern Fisher recently dug up a picture of me that I didn’t want to ever find the light of day, but he’s holding my dog Fred hostage until I release it to the wild. Vern scoured his archives for this photo only after Commissioner Rube Furrow made the observation that Ed Helms appeared to have found inspiration in mimicking me in the movie “The Hangover.”

I resemble the implication. Now Vern, gimme Fred back.

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By Pedregoso Rios
We previously asked if you could figure out Aaron’s Law, posited by Strokes owner Aaron Pankoke, from the following picture:

We had one guess posted in the comments. It was from Commissioner Rube Furrow, who predictably said he thought he saw the face of Jesus in the banana. That’s Rube for you, always seeing things in his fruits and vegetables. Heck, last week he claimed he saw all seven dwarves in his half-eaten taco salad and tried to sell it on eBay.

Anyway, Aaron’s Law can be stated thusly: If you bring home a bunch of bananas, the last banana will almost always remain uneaten. Since hearing Aaron describe the law more than a year ago, I’ve purposely tried to break it as often as possible but have only succeeded an average of once in every ten attempts. Damn law.

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By Pedregoso Rios
Speaking of Strokes owner Aaron Pankoke ...

Take a look at the following picture and see if you can figure out what Aaron’s Law might be. (Hint: It doesn’t have anything to do with the apple.) We’ll reveal the answer in a future entry.

(Hey Aaron, do you want to send me an e-mail explaining the law? Or, would you like me to take a cut at describing it?)

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By Pedregoso Rios
A photo that Pepino Monos owner Pedregoso Rios (Tony Livernois) took of Chicago’s famous “Bean” (a.k.a., Cloud Gate) was recently selected by Schmap for their online Chicago Guide. (Schmap found the photo on Flickr and asked if they could use it.) Here’s the photo they used:

The Bean (a.k.a., Cloud Gate)

It’d be a bigger honor if Schmap didn’t also include in their guide dozens of Bean photos that other people took. And it’d way be less humiliating if dozens of those photos weren’t way better than this one. Oh well.

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By Pedregoso Rios
A literal translation of the video “Total Eclipse of the Heart,” just ‘cuz:

It almost makes me nostalgic for the days when MTV actually played music videos. But maybe they were all this bad ... I dunno ... my nostalgia might be clouding my memory ... look, the fog machine’s on! ... maybe that’s clouding my memory.

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By Pedregoso Rios
This thing’s been all over the Internwebs like stink on a bad dance video, so we decided to throw it on our site, too:

For the record, the Santa Lechuga Power League does not in any way condone fey on-field dancing, despite the author’s propensity to shake his tail feathers after every Monos win.

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By Pedregoso Rios
...since it’s fun at the expense of a cat, you want to try this, too:

It just takes a pet door, a cat that’s used to jumping through that pet door, and some Saran Wrap. Snap to it.

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By Pedregoso Rios
...even though it’s cruel, you want to try this, too:

It just takes a friend’s flip-flops and some superglue. Hop to it, already.

BTW, tomorrow (Sunday) I won’t be able to update the standings, stats or this blog until later in the day. It turns out that I won’t be near an Internet connection until early afternoon at the soonest. Sorry, boys and girls.

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By Pedregoso Rios
Thanks to A Team To Be Named Later/Natsox owner Sue Klinkhamer for giving us the heads-up on this...

From HOTLINE (which is apparently some D.C.-based newswire for congressional types):

“The MN Independence Party announced today that ex-Sen. Dean Barkley (IP) ‘will throw out the first pitch at the St. Paul Saints game’ 5/23 in what the Saints are calling ‘Re’Count Night in ‘honor’ of the '08 SEN recount. The first 2.5K fans through the gate will receive a Count Von ‘Re’Count doll featuring ‘the likeness of (Norm) Coleman on one side and (Al) Franken on the other’ whose ‘bobble head spins over a body dressed like’ Sesame Street's Count von Count. The Independence Party is selling $25 packages that will get fans ‘a ticket to the game’ and ‘tailgate party’ as well as a chance to ‘discuss’ their ‘recount frustrations with Dean’ (release, 5/12).”

More about the Count von ‘Re’Count doll here from CNN.

Update: Lookie at what I just stumbled on! Nice Tom Seaver reference, Sue!

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By Pedregoso Rios
“I would have just tossed you in the gutter to end your agony.”

Special Boy With Freakishly Large Brain Wins Spelling Bee
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By Pedregoso Rios
...you want to try it:

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By Pedregoso Rios
...the Bobblehead-of-Lettuce is bobblin’ for all of you.

Happy Mother’s Day!

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