From the Commish
From the Commish: Sankees Yuck
11/05/09 10:38 PM
By Rube
Furrow
A big tip of the Santa Lechuga cap to David Edison, the grand champion of the 4-H Club hog show at the Santa Lechuga County Fair this year. With his two-year-old, 225-pound pig named Cameltowing Inc., Edison blew away the rest of the swine competition. Along the way, Cameltowing also destroyed the field in this year's Santa Lechuga Power League competition, earning a hearty handshake and a sweet little check for $540. Congratulations to Cameltowing Inc.
IMPORTANT MESSAGE TO ALL WINNERS: Please respond with your preferred snail mail address so Rube can send your check. Check below to see if you're a winner. If you're a loser, Rube doesn't want to hear from you (unless it’s to pay an outstanding balance). Because you're a loser.
It was a memorable season at SLPL, with Mark Olivarria scratching and clawing his way to a playoff championship even after his beloved Dodgers folded like a cheap card table in the postseason and with Suzie Rochelllllle adding sizzle to her life with a surprise regular season championship (word is she's using her winnings to purchase the alcohol for this year's Notre Dame-Stanford tailgate). On the other hand, to our deep disappointment, the SLPL was shut out yet again in the Phil Rizzuto Memorial Hall-of-Fame Death Pool. Rube about crapped the other night when he turned on the FOX Network (slogan: "We're here to drive away baseball fans during the World Series") to find Robin Roberts throwing out the first pitch and looking fit as a fiddle. D'OH!!!
By the way, is it just me or does Johnny Damon spend his off season filming those Geico caveman commercials?
Anyway, thanks to everyone for participating in this year's SLPL. And, remember, today may be the saddest day of the year, but spring training is only four months away!
Rube Furrow
Playoff Champs
Overall Champ - David Edison, Cameltowing, Inc.
Playoff Champ - Mark Olivarria, Dodger Blue
Phil Rizzuto Memorial Hall-of-Fame Death Pool – N/A*
*No champ was named for the Phil Rizzuto Memorial Hall-of-Fame Death Pool since none of the soon-to-be worm-fooders chose to die this season. Again. Dangit.
Regular Season Champs
Regular Season Champ - Suzie Rochellle, Who’s On First?
Hitting Champ - Suzie Rochellle, Who’s On First?
Pitching Champ - Tony Livernois, Pepino Monos
Power-Hitting Pitchers Champ - Sue Klinkhamer, Natsox
A-Cox Division Champ - Jim Johnson, Bad Spinach
Bleed-T-Birds Division Champ - David Edison, Cameltowing, Inc.
Chowder-Suck Division Champ - Mark Olivarria, Dodger Blue
El-Wee! Division Champ - Scott Forstner, Forty Ounce Guzzlers
Guzz-Nats Division Champ - Jeren Livernois, Keep on Shockin'
Pat-Scoot Division Champ - Ray Jasutis, Pathetics
Semper-Bing Division Champ - Dan Klinkhamer, Tacky Cardias
Ninja-Zitos Division Champ - Suzie Rochellle, Who’s On First?
All-Star Co-Champs
Brandon Olivarria, Bleed Blue
Marc Cabrera & Laith Agha, Chowder Clam
Scott Forstner, Forty Ounce Guzzlers
Vince Livernois, Hahnyacher
Dan Klinkhamer, Tacky Cardias
Suzie Rochellle, Who’s On First?
$540 - David Edison, Cameltowing, Inc.
$540 - Suzie Rochellle, Who’s On First?
$305 - Dan Klinkhamer, Tacky Cardias, 3rd Place Hitting Standings + Semper-Bing Division Champ + All-Star Co-Champ
$275 - Mark Olivarria, Dodger Blue, Playoff Champ + Chowder-Suck Division Champ
$155 - Scott Forstner, Forty Ounce Guzzlers, El-Wee! Division Champ + All-Star Co-Champ
$150 - Tony Livernois, Pepino Monos, Pitching Champ
$150 - Sue Klinkhamer, Natsox, Power-Hitting Pitchers Champ
$125 - Jim Johnson, Bad Spinach, A-Cox Division Champ
$125 - Vern Fisher, Cantrell's House, 2nd Place Bleed-T-Birds Division
$125 - Jeren Livernois, Keep on Shockin', Guzz-Nats Division Champ
$125 - Ray Jasutis, Pathetics, Pat-Scoot Division Champ
$125 - Katie Jane Surratt, Team of Ninjaviduals, 2nd Place Ninja-Zitos Division
$30 - Brandon Olivarria, Bleed Blue, All-Star Co-Champ
$30 - Marc Cabrera & Laith Agha, Chowder Clam, All-Star Co-Champ
$30 - Vince Livernois, Hahnyacher, All-Star Co-Champ
A big tip of the Santa Lechuga cap to David Edison, the grand champion of the 4-H Club hog show at the Santa Lechuga County Fair this year. With his two-year-old, 225-pound pig named Cameltowing Inc., Edison blew away the rest of the swine competition. Along the way, Cameltowing also destroyed the field in this year's Santa Lechuga Power League competition, earning a hearty handshake and a sweet little check for $540. Congratulations to Cameltowing Inc.
IMPORTANT MESSAGE TO ALL WINNERS: Please respond with your preferred snail mail address so Rube can send your check. Check below to see if you're a winner. If you're a loser, Rube doesn't want to hear from you (unless it’s to pay an outstanding balance). Because you're a loser.
It was a memorable season at SLPL, with Mark Olivarria scratching and clawing his way to a playoff championship even after his beloved Dodgers folded like a cheap card table in the postseason and with Suzie Rochelllllle adding sizzle to her life with a surprise regular season championship (word is she's using her winnings to purchase the alcohol for this year's Notre Dame-Stanford tailgate). On the other hand, to our deep disappointment, the SLPL was shut out yet again in the Phil Rizzuto Memorial Hall-of-Fame Death Pool. Rube about crapped the other night when he turned on the FOX Network (slogan: "We're here to drive away baseball fans during the World Series") to find Robin Roberts throwing out the first pitch and looking fit as a fiddle. D'OH!!!
By the way, is it just me or does Johnny Damon spend his off season filming those Geico caveman commercials?
Anyway, thanks to everyone for participating in this year's SLPL. And, remember, today may be the saddest day of the year, but spring training is only four months away!
Rube Furrow
2009 Champs
Playoff Champs
Overall Champ - David Edison, Cameltowing, Inc.
Playoff Champ - Mark Olivarria, Dodger Blue
Phil Rizzuto Memorial Hall-of-Fame Death Pool – N/A*
*No champ was named for the Phil Rizzuto Memorial Hall-of-Fame Death Pool since none of the soon-to-be worm-fooders chose to die this season. Again. Dangit.
Regular Season Champs
Regular Season Champ - Suzie Rochellle, Who’s On First?
Hitting Champ - Suzie Rochellle, Who’s On First?
Pitching Champ - Tony Livernois, Pepino Monos
Power-Hitting Pitchers Champ - Sue Klinkhamer, Natsox
A-Cox Division Champ - Jim Johnson, Bad Spinach
Bleed-T-Birds Division Champ - David Edison, Cameltowing, Inc.
Chowder-Suck Division Champ - Mark Olivarria, Dodger Blue
El-Wee! Division Champ - Scott Forstner, Forty Ounce Guzzlers
Guzz-Nats Division Champ - Jeren Livernois, Keep on Shockin'
Pat-Scoot Division Champ - Ray Jasutis, Pathetics
Semper-Bing Division Champ - Dan Klinkhamer, Tacky Cardias
Ninja-Zitos Division Champ - Suzie Rochellle, Who’s On First?
All-Star Co-Champs
Brandon Olivarria, Bleed Blue
Marc Cabrera & Laith Agha, Chowder Clam
Scott Forstner, Forty Ounce Guzzlers
Vince Livernois, Hahnyacher
Dan Klinkhamer, Tacky Cardias
Suzie Rochellle, Who’s On First?
2009 Payouts
$540 - David Edison, Cameltowing, Inc.
$540 - Suzie Rochellle, Who’s On First?
$305 - Dan Klinkhamer, Tacky Cardias, 3rd Place Hitting Standings + Semper-Bing Division Champ + All-Star Co-Champ
$275 - Mark Olivarria, Dodger Blue, Playoff Champ + Chowder-Suck Division Champ
$155 - Scott Forstner, Forty Ounce Guzzlers, El-Wee! Division Champ + All-Star Co-Champ
$150 - Tony Livernois, Pepino Monos, Pitching Champ
$150 - Sue Klinkhamer, Natsox, Power-Hitting Pitchers Champ
$125 - Jim Johnson, Bad Spinach, A-Cox Division Champ
$125 - Vern Fisher, Cantrell's House, 2nd Place Bleed-T-Birds Division
$125 - Jeren Livernois, Keep on Shockin', Guzz-Nats Division Champ
$125 - Ray Jasutis, Pathetics, Pat-Scoot Division Champ
$125 - Katie Jane Surratt, Team of Ninjaviduals, 2nd Place Ninja-Zitos Division
$30 - Brandon Olivarria, Bleed Blue, All-Star Co-Champ
$30 - Marc Cabrera & Laith Agha, Chowder Clam, All-Star Co-Champ
$30 - Vince Livernois, Hahnyacher, All-Star Co-Champ
Playoffs:
At-A-Glance
| Overall | Hitting Stats
| Pitching Stats
| Team Stats
| Past
Leaders
Final Regular
Season: At-A-Glance
| Overall | Division | Hitting | Pitching | Past Leaders
| All-Star
Pay Already! PayPal
|
From the Commissioner: At the All-Star Break
07/14/09 02:30 PM
By Rube
Furrow
So the Giants are 10 games over .500 at the All-Star break, Jonathan Sanchez has pitched the most improbable no-hitter in history, Albert Pujols did not win the Home Run Derby and Suzie Rochellle is enjoying Europe content in the knowledge that she’s leading the Santa Lechuga Power League.
Has the space-time continuum gone kablooey? Has the universe been sucked into a black hole? Has the current administration poisoned our water systems with hallucinogenics?
I mean, really! Suzie Rochellle dominating the SLPL at midseason? There is no plausible explanation for this. During the entire proud 125-year history of SLPL, Suzie’s teams have been traditional bottom-dwellers.
This is such a suspicious turn of events that I, in my position as commissioner, have launched a full-scale investigation into the matter. I have selected a qualified and expensive Blue-Ribbon Committee to look into the Suzie Rochellle Scandal and I expect a full report on my desk by the end of the month.
Other than the Suzie Rochellle Scandal, the SLPL appears to be in great shape this year. Rube Furrow’s own team, Willie Bobs, has successfully cemented its year-long position as the 39th best team in the league, a team called “Pathetics” (Ray Jasutis) is actually leading its division, and two newcomers to the league (Nate Meyers' Apocalypse Dudes and Mark Merfeld's Shankopotamus) are in the top-five overall at midseason.
VP of Creepy Pedregoso Rios seems to be impressed that SLPL has more than $2,200 in the payout pot so far, which means that lots of teams have been making lots of trades. Commissioner Rube Furrow is not quite so impressed, mainly because the league is in arrears by about $1,500 at midseason, which means that lots of teams have been making a lot of trades but not paying for them. (Hint: Pay early and pay often.)
Kudos to Pedregoso for a great SLPL Web presence this year. We’re twittered in, up to date and the best damn fantasy league in the world, because we say we are.
Have a great second half.
So the Giants are 10 games over .500 at the All-Star break, Jonathan Sanchez has pitched the most improbable no-hitter in history, Albert Pujols did not win the Home Run Derby and Suzie Rochellle is enjoying Europe content in the knowledge that she’s leading the Santa Lechuga Power League.
Has the space-time continuum gone kablooey? Has the universe been sucked into a black hole? Has the current administration poisoned our water systems with hallucinogenics?
I mean, really! Suzie Rochellle dominating the SLPL at midseason? There is no plausible explanation for this. During the entire proud 125-year history of SLPL, Suzie’s teams have been traditional bottom-dwellers.
This is such a suspicious turn of events that I, in my position as commissioner, have launched a full-scale investigation into the matter. I have selected a qualified and expensive Blue-Ribbon Committee to look into the Suzie Rochellle Scandal and I expect a full report on my desk by the end of the month.
Other than the Suzie Rochellle Scandal, the SLPL appears to be in great shape this year. Rube Furrow’s own team, Willie Bobs, has successfully cemented its year-long position as the 39th best team in the league, a team called “Pathetics” (Ray Jasutis) is actually leading its division, and two newcomers to the league (Nate Meyers' Apocalypse Dudes and Mark Merfeld's Shankopotamus) are in the top-five overall at midseason.
VP of Creepy Pedregoso Rios seems to be impressed that SLPL has more than $2,200 in the payout pot so far, which means that lots of teams have been making lots of trades. Commissioner Rube Furrow is not quite so impressed, mainly because the league is in arrears by about $1,500 at midseason, which means that lots of teams have been making a lot of trades but not paying for them. (Hint: Pay early and pay often.)
Kudos to Pedregoso for a great SLPL Web presence this year. We’re twittered in, up to date and the best damn fantasy league in the world, because we say we are.
Have a great second half.
Standings:
At-A-Glance
| Overall | Division | Hitting | Pitching | Past Leaders
| All-Star
Pay Already! PayPal
Welcome From The Santa Lechuga Commish!
04/12/09 12:21 AM
By Rube
Furrow
The crocus are abloom, the goats are birthing, and the infielders are adjusting their cups. Yes, it’s springtime in Santa Lechuga!
And, yes, the Santa Lechuga Power League is back for another season. Nearly bigger and most definitely better than ever. Thanks to SLPL VP of Creepy Pedregoso Rios, we’ve got a tasteful new Web presence. We’re Twittering. We’ve even got an inexplicable link to The Onion, the first of what will be lots of inexplicable links during the season.
Better yet, Commissioner Rube Furrow is thrilled that we’ve weeded out the deadbeats (whatever happened to Kenny Ottmar, anyway?). And we’ve replaced them with a terrific rookie class of owners who have enthusiastically paid their entry fees already. This pleases Rube greatly.
Rube welcomes the Merfelds, Mark and Kevin, despite their affinity for LA teams. Rube welcomes Dave Adrian, who Rube wouldn’t know from a hole in the ground but already admires due to his swift payment of the entry fee and due to his appropriate selection of a team name. Rube welcomes a past-owner back into the league, Scott Allen (or was that Allen Scott?) and hopes his ScootBigs do his name justice. Rube welcomes the Thornburg Boys--Brian, Adrian, and Benjamin--who have put their heads together to create a team that is already impressing the scouts. Rube welcomes Nate Meyers, who bit on Pedregoso's Facebook bait and chose a team name that we hope applies to a lot of our Hall-of-Famers. Rube welcomes Matt Ramirez and sends best wishes for a successful season to the Cougars (Kane County). Rube welcomes Ray Jasutis, who put the "pathetic" in Athletics. Rube welcomes Joe DeLeo and expects big things from his Batterbings. And Rube welcomes the Klinkhamer, Cline & Cline crew and hopes they ride their horses hard to a good finish.
And Rube welcomes back all our great competitors from the awesome 2008 season, including reigning champ Mark Olivarria.
The crocus are abloom, the goats are birthing, and the infielders are adjusting their cups. Yes, it’s springtime in Santa Lechuga!
And, yes, the Santa Lechuga Power League is back for another season. Nearly bigger and most definitely better than ever. Thanks to SLPL VP of Creepy Pedregoso Rios, we’ve got a tasteful new Web presence. We’re Twittering. We’ve even got an inexplicable link to The Onion, the first of what will be lots of inexplicable links during the season.
Better yet, Commissioner Rube Furrow is thrilled that we’ve weeded out the deadbeats (whatever happened to Kenny Ottmar, anyway?). And we’ve replaced them with a terrific rookie class of owners who have enthusiastically paid their entry fees already. This pleases Rube greatly.
Rube welcomes the Merfelds, Mark and Kevin, despite their affinity for LA teams. Rube welcomes Dave Adrian, who Rube wouldn’t know from a hole in the ground but already admires due to his swift payment of the entry fee and due to his appropriate selection of a team name. Rube welcomes a past-owner back into the league, Scott Allen (or was that Allen Scott?) and hopes his ScootBigs do his name justice. Rube welcomes the Thornburg Boys--Brian, Adrian, and Benjamin--who have put their heads together to create a team that is already impressing the scouts. Rube welcomes Nate Meyers, who bit on Pedregoso's Facebook bait and chose a team name that we hope applies to a lot of our Hall-of-Famers. Rube welcomes Matt Ramirez and sends best wishes for a successful season to the Cougars (Kane County). Rube welcomes Ray Jasutis, who put the "pathetic" in Athletics. Rube welcomes Joe DeLeo and expects big things from his Batterbings. And Rube welcomes the Klinkhamer, Cline & Cline crew and hopes they ride their horses hard to a good finish.
And Rube welcomes back all our great competitors from the awesome 2008 season, including reigning champ Mark Olivarria.
Standings:
At-A-Glance
| Overall | Division | Hitting | Pitching | Past
Leaders
Pay Already! PayPal
